here are the grievances posted on the pole at our festivus/ugly sweater party this year.
the pole party favors
"i'll have a double tall mocha breve latte non-fat skiny sugar free hazelnut 1/2 caff macchiato. oh yeah and leave room for cream. iced. to go."
people who think ventriloquists are funny
when he never calls you back
why is it wrong to drink at work?
all of you that have let me down
jerk-offs who don't know how to merge
park rats with their baggy clothes, headphones and 'sorry, brah's' - no thanks
i hate when the goddamn customers order drinks when i'm bartending.
grocery checkers who want to put my groceries in plastic bags and then put them inside my reusable bags
that chocolate has calories
cellphones (and other technology that i don't use)
hello!? turn signal!
pets don't live as long as you do
can't drink (much) at work
sign says 'yield' not 'stop'
not everyone is interested in your blessings
those damn blue collar tweakers
it makes me mad when you piss in the living room
audi drivers who ruined the audi driving experience for the rest of us
always at the bottom of the pole.