26 April 2010

can't sit still - don't make me.

i am in downtown seattle for a training class - advanced dimensional modeling.  the instructor is engaging, funny and knowledgeable, which is great for a geek class - doesn't happen often.  she reminded me of meryl streep in her speech and mannerisms. 

i decided to put myself in the front row, so i would stay focused.  i did, however, choose front row next to the window. so i kinda screwed myself on the focus thing. especially since there was a shoe store within view on this bustling downtown street! 

a customer here at my current job once said, 'You have way too much personality to work in a stuffy office environment.  It must be really hard for you!'   boy, was he right.   i do like to interact with (most) people and gosh darnit, why shouldn't we have some fun at work?  i tried to find a balance in my training class, as i was having to sit still and pay attention for multiple days.  i made some acquaintances and had someone to share a knowing smile with when the instructor made a faux pas.  (like when she mentioned a student named virginia splooge!)  there was also a grand piano in the lobby of the conference center and i had to make a concerted (get it?  concerted?) effort to not sit down and play.  shameless, but harmless, as my friend lynn says......

seattle has quite a diverse population, which is evident in my class of 35 attendees.  i have met (and lunched with) fellow data geeks from india, ireland, russia, norway,  poland, great britain, canada and china.  one classmates nametag read 'Ole Tom'.  i asked him if it was ol' tom or ole'! tom.  turns out it was neither - more like olly, but he was amused by ole! tom, which some spanish flair hand movements.  there was another gentleman in class by the name of jasper and he looked like a jasper (see bad drawing to right - he was really much more distinguished looking than i could depict).

at the end of the day i found an unsuspecting geek/partner in crime to accompany me to le diner.  we had a most lovely french gastronomic experience at le pichet.  on the way to the restaurant, a fairly 'normal' looking young man approached me with arms wide open.  i looked at him and said 'hug?' and he said 'yes please', so we exchanged hugs and toothy smiles for making such a random friendly connection with a fellow being. 

i managed to stay mostly on task today, but i look forward to what tomorrow brings me in seattle!

oh, the humanity!

i checked in online for my flight to seattle from denver and printed my boarding pass. 17C - not bad! not bad for a normal sized airplane. but my flight ended up being on a mini-plane - 4 seats across - 2 each side and row 17 = back row. you know, the very upright seats that don't recline? in a movie theatre or a lecture, back row is good - you can make out or sneak out. but in a small aircraft you are trapped. right next to the only lavatory on the plane. no galley to provide a waiting area for passengers queued up to make their bladder gladder. no, just my airspace. um, excuse me, that's your ASS IN MY FACE! and what about the woman waiting for the bathroom with a maxi pad in hand. at least it was a fresh new pad, but maybe, stick that in your pocket while you are in public? i don't think anyone joined the mile high club on this flight - i'm pretty sure i would have known.

two other items of note about the back row - the flight attendant jump seat is in between the two aisle seats. meaning when she (or he) is strapped in, it's like you are in a middle seat. especially if the flight attendant is not a small person and she is wearing a lot of icky perfume. she was very nice and had a great smile, but no sympathy for us back row dwellers. also, i could have sworn we were on a prop plane. it is freaking LOUD back there! and my ipod battery was out of juice and there were no audio options on this plane. just the engine noise, the rattling of the loose overhead compartments and my citta vrtti.

my seatmate directly in front of me thought he'd use the 3 hour flight for a snooze, so he laid back into my lap. (am i the only one who only reclines one notch on the plane so as not to invade the space of the person behind me?) i thought about giving him a nice shoulder and scalp massage, but if i have to suffer thru this flight, then so should he! my sunglassed seatmate to my right, at the window, had a bottle of booze that she was trying to secretly nip on, but i was onto her. what do i care that she's a thrifty alcoholic, bringing her own, instead of paying $6 for a crappy cocktail.? drink up - no need to hide it. sharing is nice, too.

also in the row in front of me was a microsoft executive who was going thru hundreds of unread work emails on her laptop. i had a good view of her inbox and she didn't seem to appreciate some of the feedback her colleagues were providing on a presentation she put together. she was angrily pounding out responses. i'm glad i wasn't in the seat in front of her that was attached to her tray table. i'd like to add that all the emails she read were very professional and there was not one glimmer of personality or enthusiasm in any of them. not an exclamation point to be found.

catty corner to my seat were two french mademoiselles. they provided some cultural entertainment, as i tried to decipher their conversations. they played some cards (french playing cards are the same as you'll find in vegas - no translation necessary of suits and numbers). i found it interesting that one of the girls had an electronic book reader (like a kindle) and was reading a book in french. not sure why that surprised me. what also surprised, or rather, appalled me, was when both ladies whipped out fingernail files and proceeded to file their nails on the airplane! gross! i don't need to breathe in your discarded body particles! if you know me, you know i have a disdain for certain public grooming.

otherwise, my flight was uneventful, although we deplaned on the tarmac. in seattle. in the rain.

lastly, my rental car clerk hinted that she got off work at 11pm (wink wink) if i needed any ASSistance, which i suppose was flattering.

all was redeemed when i got to my hotel and my man had sent an absolutely gorgeous bouquet of gerbera daisies to my room (my favorite!) and when i spent the evening with friends whom i hadn't seen in a few years who prepared my a lovely dinner of oysters rockafeller, crab cakes and a salad of fresh greens that they picked from their garden immediately prior to putting them on my plate. it was a lovely way to reconnect with my people and with nature. the wine was quite nice, as well.

there's a lesson in this day. i'm sure i'll figure out what it is. oh wait - i think i just did. thank you.

20 April 2010

i have a dream.....

I Have a Dream (excerpted from PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia by Rob Brezny)

I have a dream.

I have a dream that in the New World, there will be a new Bill of Rights. The first amendment will be, "Your daily wage is directly tied to the beauty and truth and love you provide."

I have a dream that in the New World, childbirth will be broadcast in prime time on a major TV network every night.

I have a dream that the New World will have exhilarationists, and they'll vastly outnumber the terrorists. The exhilarationists will be performance artists with a conscience ... charismatic improvisers who love to spring fun surprises. They'll commit unexpected interventions and unscheduled spectacles that delight hordes of strangers.

I have a dream that in the New World, we will add an eleventh commandment to the standard ten: Thou shalt not bore God.

I have a dream of a week-long annual holiday called the Bacchanalia. Work and business will be suspended so that all adults can explore their ripe mojo with frothy erotic experiments. Tenderly orgiastic marathons will rage unabated. Reverential ecstasy and grateful generosity will rule.

I have a dream that when anchormen report tragedies on their nightly TV shows, they'll break down and cry and let their emotions show. No more poker faces.

In the New World, you'll be a fascinating enigma worthy of a best-selling unauthorized biography and I'll be an inscrutable genius whose every move is packed with symbolic meaning -- and vice versa. That will be the law in the New World -- far different from the Old World, where schadenfreude is epidemic and your distinctive flair is supposed to make me feel worshipful or diminished.

I have a dream that in the New World, the word "asshole" will be a term of endearment rather than abuse. Plutocracy will be a felony. April Fool's Day will come once a month. There'll be scientific horoscopes and mystical logic. Every one of us will have at least one imaginary friend. Compassion will be an aphrodisiac.

In the New World, we'll launch an affirmative action program that ultimately makes most of us celebrities. Buddhist real estate developers will build a chain of sacred shopping centers in the heartland. The CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies will be required by law to enjoy once-a-week sessions with Jungian psychotherapists. Pioneers in artificial intelligence research will develop computers that can talk to God.

In the New World, same-sex marriages will be fully sanctioned, of course. But why stop there? We'll also legalize wedding bonds among threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, and large groups of people who are in love with each other. I have a dream that we will expand the meaning of love beyond anything our ancestors imagined.

In the New World, our children will study singing and dancing and meditation and dream work with as much diligence as they now devote to math and science. They'll learn to see with their own eyes and think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts, studying those subjects as intently as they do spelling and grammar and social studies. Beginning in seventh grade, they'll get lessons in the art of creating successful intimate relationships. And we'll teach them why it's only fair that for the next 3,000 years we use "her" for the generic singular pronoun instead of "him."

I have a dream that we will take everything we need and give everything we have. We'll be both selfish altruists and generous braggarts, Llibertarian socialists and capitalist humanitarians. That'll be the law in the New World -- different from the Old World, where you can blindly serve your own interests or devote yourself to the needs of others, but not both.

I have a dream that in the New World, Oprah Winfrey will buy up all the Pizza Huts on the planet and convert them into a global network of menstrual huts, where for a few days each month, every one of us, men and women alike, can resign from the crazy-making 9–5 -- drop out and slow down, break trance and dive down into eternal time.

We will sleep eight and a half hours every night and practice our lucid dreams ... sing love songs from the future while soaking in long, hot baths ... feast on chocolate as we converse with the little voices in our heads ... research the difference between stupid suffering and wise suffering until we finally get it right . . . wear magic underwear made from eagle feathers, spider webs, and 100-year-old moss . . . and conjure up bigger, better, more original sins and wilder, wetter, more interesting problems.

In the New World, you'll kick your own ass and I'll wash my own brain. I'll be my own parents and you'll be your own wife. And vice versa. That'll be normal in the New World -- different from the Old World, where everyone except me is to blame for my ignorance and you call on everyone except yourself to give you what you need.

I'll push my own buttons and right my own wrongs. You'll wake yourself up and sing your own songs.

I'm the president now . . . and so are you. I am the Supreme Commander of the United Snakes of the Blooming HaHa . . . and so are you. And what we proclaim is that in the New World, we will love our neighbors as ourselves, even if our neighbors are jerks. We will never divide the world into us against them. We will search for the divine spark even in the people we most despise, and we will never dehumanize anyone, even those who dehumanize us.

I have a dream that sooner or later every one of us will become a well-rounded, highly skilled, incredibly rich master of rowdy bliss -- with lots of leisure time and an orgiastic feminist conscience.

19 April 2010


i believe in....
a supreme force - call it god, goddess, mother nature, the universe

nature - and the laws thereof

matter was not created by god, but is god




personal and planetary health

six of the ten commandments


family and friends

ability to discover your truth



bill of rights and additional constitutional amendments (although i am uncertain about the 2nd amendment)

spiritual resting places / heaven and hell are symbolic

relativity, especially as it applies to one's perception


everything is connected

vice is okay in moderation. well, not all vices, just the ones i partake of

asking questions

the power of the moon

love - finally! love and lots of it



honesty - brutal or otherwise

the written word

collective consciousness - everyone should believe what i believe!


disclaimer - maybe some of these things are contradictory, but that's okay. i also reserve the right to change my mind at any time. ;-)

13 April 2010

the silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload

monday ain't such a bad day after all!
typically my monday theme song is the boomtown rats, tell me why i don't like mondays, and i'm known for quoting the movie, office space, 'awww, someone's got a case of the mondays'.  i start coming down with my 'case of the mondays' on sunday evening.  i know, i know, i need to change my attitude, but i work for my weekends and enjoy them to their fullest and juiciest. the thought of heading back into a full week of work just brings me down.  and no holidays until may 31!

so this monday changed my mind, at least for this week.  here's why:
  1. the spring day was sunny and warm (but not hypo-allergenic)
  2. my boss and my boss' boss were out of the office
  3. i went for a nice mid-morning walk in the park across from my building
  4. my boyfriend got mostly divorced  (this is huge!  muy bueno humongo!)
  5. free lunch - nice salad and gooey chocolate cake
  6. out of work early and home to my handsome man (in his speedo!) for some backyard lounging in the sun and some good lovin'  (yeah, the swimsuit turns me on)
  7. motorcycle ride to mexican food (nothing makes me feel more sexy than wrapping my arms and legs around my strong manly man -btw- he was wearing pants now -  on the back of a bike)
  8. daddy k wired and installed reading lights on either side of our new king size bed 
  9. snuggled on the couch with the dog and watched 2/3 of inglorius basterds (feeling a little ambivalent about it though - not as riveting as i had hoped)
  10. mmmmm bed
the day could have been even better had we squeezed in yoga, too, but sciatica prevented that from happening.  i really didn't want this monday to end - i delayed turning off my new bedside light and tried to keep us awake - chatting, joking, planning, pondering -  as long as possible......